Does my Bling Make me Look Skinny?

Luna Hats

2012-01-30T12:15:00.000-08:00

This probably isn't a surprise to anyone, but recently I received some fan mail containing a picture of someone wearing what they call a "Luna hat." Now I do not endorse the use of my image to sell hats (especially since no one has approached me with money or food), but I can't help but think that this hat on this fan is quite an improvement. More people should try and look like me. So, though I did not give permission for someone to use my likeness to make this hat, I would still like to say to whomever wants to improve your looks, that you are free to try and look like me. I don't blame you. Who wouldn't want to?

2012 New Year's Reso-Luna-tions:

2012-01-05T13:50:00.000-08:00

Take more naps in the sun.
Finally catch that moving red dot.
Continue stacking dead crickets in the corner.
Continue being beautiful, shiny and skinny.
Continue being better than TC.

Catvertising

2011-11-30T06:34:00.000-08:00

Finally, companies are starting to get it. The future is catvertising. Kittywood Studios and john st.? I'm available for filming at my leisure.

National "Luna is Skinnier Than TC" Day

2011-10-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

It's National Pet Obesity Awareness Day, so I just wanted to take this opportunity to remind everyone how much skinnier I am than TC. Even though TC was the one who received national attention on Animal Planet this year (on a video segment about fat cats, mind you), my body type is actually the physique that healthy felines should be aiming for. In fact, according to a pet-person weight conversion chart on the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention website, I would be a slim, healthy 108-pound female if I were a person (since I weigh about 8 pounds as a cat), while TC, who is 14.2 pounds, clearly has a person-weight of more than 200 pounds, which is almost double my weight either way. Therefore, I am naming it National "Luna is Skinnier Than TC" Day, in honor of me.

New Desk

2011-10-05T13:26:00.001-07:00

Today I received a new (well, new to me) desk for all my dedicated blogging. So far, it's just as comfortable to lay on.

Getting in the Way of Work...

2011-09-21T11:28:00.001-07:00

...is hard work. Do you think it’s easy to stretch across two sets of papers in an upside-down position? No. As you can see, it takes concentration.

It's September Already?

2011-09-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

How long was I asleep in the sun?

On Top of Things

2011-07-22T10:37:00.001-07:00

I'm really on top of my work inbox this week. See?

Take Your Cat to Work Day

2011-06-21T15:02:00.000-07:00

I am not amused. Today there was a photo shoot at the TVMA office to promote Take Your Dog to Work Day, which is this Friday. What a ridiculous holiday. Where is Take Your Cat to Work Day? Though for me this holiday is every day, since I'm fortunate enough to be an office cat, I say, let's do it this Friday as well, so we can attack, when they least expect it.

There was even a party for one of the dog's birthdays. I had my party hat and everything.

Not that I wanted to party with a bunch of dogs. I just look excellent in hats. So I think we should also consider having a party this Friday, during Take Your Cat to Work Day. Then we can show those dogs just how cute we are, as well as better in every conceivable way. See you there.

Luna's New Bling

2011-06-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

My last collar upset me. It didn’t have quite enough bling (especially since it was rhinestones instead of diamonds as I originally requested), so I struggled out of it and don’t remember where it ended up. But I don’t need a collar. I am a princess panther that can’t be tamed. I must run around the office unbridled to hunt small crickets and balled up pieces of paper. I must be allowed to run free and pounce without the jiggle bell that so unfairly announces my presence. I must be able to sneak up on my prey without warning, for I am a true creature of the night. But the staff insisted on imposing a collar on me once again, probably because of that incident with the copier. I pounced suddenly and made the accounting person drop all her papers, for I am truly terrifying! Mu ha ha ha! Yet, again, instead of giving me diamonds, I was given rhinestones, in the shape of little paws. Though I am still severely displeased with the lack of diamonds on my collar, I think little bling paws are cute and a step up. So this will do, for now.

How to Avoid a Bite From Luna

2011-05-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

Next week, May 15–21, is National Dog Bite Prevention Week, apparently. Well, you might find this shocking, but recently I, Luna, was reprimanded by the HR Rep. for being a little nippy. She asked, “Luna, is this going to turn into an HR issue?” I said no, though I’m not sure she understood me in person, as most don’t, so I thought I’d write a blog to inform the staff of how to avoid a little love nip from Luna, if they wish to dispense of that honor:

• Feed me my fancy food as soon as you enter: The receptionist pays proper tribute by considerately serving me wet cat food every morning, but once she just wasn’t fast enough. I don’t remember what the hold up was, I just know that I was extremely hungry and the food wasn’t there. So I gave her a firm love nip to let her know I was displeased; it didn’t even break the skin! I found it to be completely appropriate, but the HR Rep. did not agree. This was the original reprimand.

• Don’t insist on typing when I am sitting on your desk, staring at you and in need of petting: The managing editor does this all time! Once last week she didn’t pay attention to me so I felt it was appropriate to let her know that I was displeased. That was strike two.

• Don’t try to move me from a stack of papers on your desk when I am clearly laying on them: Everyone in the office has been guilty of this at one time or another, but my comfort is much more important than your work! I haven’t yet resorted to biting in this situation, but consider this your warning.

• Don’t jump out and surprise me, as the graphic designer often does, or do anything else to startle or scare me: This one should be a given, but because of the behavior around here I have no choice but to list it.

• Don’t stand too long at the water fountain: For some reason when I stand next to those who are getting a drink of water, their legs look so tasty that I must give a gentle little nibble. This is really a sign of affection, but I suppose I could see how this could be misconstrued.

• And the number one way not to get a little love nip from Luna? Don’t displease me
in any way. (Or please me too much.)

Simple enough. Are we all very clear on this now?

Will It Ever End?

2011-04-15T10:59:00.000-07:00

TC has yet another article in the Texas Veterinarian. I noticed while I was doing my morning crawl on tall boxes. One just happened to be open and flipped to page 17. I suspect TC was in the building, or sent someone in her stead (because what's the likelihood she actually got off her couch?) to plant that conveniently open issue, just to rub it in. There has also been an unsettling amount of canines in the building lately, which I suspect is also a plan of TC's, to slowly drive me mad. Though I am shocked at how low she's stooped. These are just a few of the dogs that the staff has exposed me to. And they've all felt entitled to taste my food. How much is one feline to endure?

I know. TC was on Animal Planet

2011-03-20T20:40:00.001-07:00

It was over a week ago and I have yet to comment and everyone is curious why. It's because I have nothing nice to say. She looked fat. I guess that was the point since the Must Love Cats segment was about how to fight feline obesity but still.They didn't interview me about why I am so skinny, which is what the people really want. When the Animal Planet crew visited, I was locked in a spare room, like Cinderella, by the staff who claimed that I am territorial when other felines enter the building and they didn't want any incidents. My demonstrations of dominance are not incidents! It is my right to show my superiority. They locked me up because they knew, like Cinderella, that I would rightfully steal the lime light from my wicked step sister, TC. And not many people know this, but after the Animal Planet crew left the building, she actually attacked me because I am so much prettier than her. Of course, she tells the story a different way since the staff came and assumed, since I had escaped my spare room, that I had attacked her. But that is not what happened. She is obviously jealous of my beauty. So yes. I know TC was on Animal Planet. It would've been a segment just about Luna if my undeniable beauty hadn't been hidden away from their sight! So I don't blame you Animal Planet. You obviously didn't know better. I am available for interviews at my leisure.

Luna in the Sky with Diamonds

2011-03-01T13:05:00.000-08:00

I’m ready to show-off my diamonds at the Diamonds and Denim Gala this Saturday. Surely the Texas Veterinary Medical Association will award me with diamonds this weekend during their Annual Conference for all my dedicated blogging!

Luna as Black Swan

2011-01-28T06:31:00.001-08:00

I am your black swan, TC....

Much Ado About Small Versions of Things

2011-01-21T17:29:00.000-08:00

This morning, there was a commotion downstairs that woke me from my morning nap. As I stealthily crawled downstairs like a panther on the prowl, I noticed almost everyone in the office crowded around the executive director’s doorway. I milled around the feet of the crowd undetected until I got a better view.

“Oh how cute!” a lady said.
“They are so tiny.”
“They’re pigmies!”
I walked into the office filled with distracted people thinking, “Surely there couldn’t be something cuter than Luna.” Then I saw them. They were…goats.
Just two very small goats. Like the mini-me version of a goat. Not remotely cuter than Luna.

“Oh look at their tiny feet!” One of them said.
“They’re so soft!”
“I just want to take them home!”

Seriously? I wasn’t impressed. But when I tried to express my opinion with a loud guttural sound, one of the ladies became concerned and shooed me out of the room!

The nerve! You imply something might be almost as cute as me but won’t even listen to my side of the argument?

They wouldn’t even allow me to do my job of providing therapeutic cuddling today. Instead, anytime anyone took a break, they just went down and petted the goats!

The managing editor and the executive director even spent a whole hour outside taking pictures of the goats in front of the building sign! They’ve never taken me to do that. Surely it’s because giving fans the ability to locate me may start a riot but still...they even made a video.

I took my afternoon nap early.

On Veterinary Legislative Day, Think of Luna

2011-01-09T01:45:00.000-08:00

On Feb. 1, when you visit your legislators at the Texas Capitol to discuss veterinary issues, remember that I have a shocking lack of fine cuts with tuna sauce wet cat food.

I think this is something that both veterinarians and legislators will be very interested in since it directly affects animal health and welfare in general—specifically my health and welfare. My coat just isn’t as shiny without my fine cuts with tuna sauce. The Texas Veterinary Medical Association and Texas A&M's College of Veterinary Medicine have joined forces to create this day as part of World Veterinary Year, so I think the veterinary profession should take it seriously. I’m just saying.

I’ve also moved to pass a resolution that states that 2011 is actually World Luna Year instead. So we’ll see how that goes.

‘Tis the Season for Lap Cats

2010-12-14T09:15:00.000-08:00

I resent the implication surfacing lately that I am some sort of “lap cat.” This is absolutely not true. It’s just that the people in the office can’t get enough of me. And who could blame them? During the holiday season, I’m certain they’re happy to benefit from my soothing and therapeutic presence. In fact, countless studies have pointed to pets lowering stress, so I’m not only providing them with a much-needed service, I’m possibly saving their lives. But at what cost?

This rumor is seriously hurting my street-cred and must stop. I am a ferocious being of the night that this office is constantly losing the battle to tame. I am panther, deity, cat princess….

But so far only the receptionist seems to pay proper tribute fit for a god. She has cans of wet food waiting for me every morning! But does anyone else in the office? No.

And when I protest about the dry food in my quarters does anyone listen? Not a chance. They just wave a laser pointer at me and laugh when I climb the wall. They don’t seem to understand how lucky they are to even look upon me, especially when I lower myself to entertain them. No no. This cuddly image is no good at all. If you need me I’ll be on my throne.

Did You Know Cats Can Get Diabetes?

2010-11-02T17:40:00.001-07:00

I was doing some light reading about Pet Diabetes Awareness Month and was very alarmed...until I remembered my daily exercise routine with the laser pointer and the art director. Then I felt better. I'm not exactly lethargic, and now that I think about it I haven't had any excessive hunger, thirst or weight loss (or gain, TC) and my coat is always flawless.

Today is National Luna Day

2010-10-29T05:26:00.000-07:00

That's right. Today is National Luna Day. I don't know if you've heard. Sure they're referring to it as National Cat Day, but that's just to keep the other cats from getting jealous. Obviously they mean me. Who else could they mean? TC? No she already has her cover. It's Luna's turn. So today in worship of me, you may mail cans of wet cat food to the Texas Veterinary Medical Association. (I prefer fine cuts with tuna sauce.) And you may come to the building and admire me as I look out the window at the birds at exactly 2 p.m. for about 10 minutes. That is all.

TC on the Cover of the Texas Veterinarian?

2010-10-13T07:42:00.001-07:00

When I saw this monstrosity floating around the office I’ve never felt so unappreciated. TC’s not even here anymore! She’s off at her country house indefinitely, which if you ask me, sounds like a fancy term for rehab. She always enjoyed the catnip a little too much….

And it’s not like she did much when Animal Planet was here. She was so nervous she didn’t even talk to them. She also didn’t help with this issue at all. I gave the managing editor much needed critiques by inserting interesting characters into her document whenever I got a hold of the keyboard.

Plus, TC’s not the one who chases the laser pointer to entertain the art director, or the one who so nicely stacks all the dead crickets in one convenient location for easy disposal, or the one who gives the managing editor much needed breaks by draping herself across the desk. (The editor is still resistant to this but I think I’m wearing her down, though I do often wake up in a different location.) She’s also not the one who’s always here for the employees whenever they need to talk—or more importantly listen—or cuddle! Put TC on the cover all you want, but she’s not going to cuddle with you. She’s at her country house. I’m taking a nap.

Photoshopped Threat

2010-08-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

Today I woke-up from my comfy chair to find an envelope with a note and this poorly photoshopped picture inside. Clearly the work of someone with no opposable thumbs and a grudge against me.

The note read:

Dear cat-minion,

Starting your own blog?

Well, this is a picture of you that I took last night while you were sleeping.

HAHAHAHA!

No. This is actually a picture of you I photoshopped to look like you were inside the mouth of an alligator. Did you really believe that? Your eyes are open in the picture! You are so stupid. It makes me laugh.

Sweet Dreams,

…I think it’s a threat.

You can read my return note on Facebook.

Does Her Collar Make Her Look Fat? Yes.

2010-07-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

The Slim Pet Challenge ended June 15, 2010, and TC did not win. There were two winners. Sadie from Paws Claws and All lost 25 pounds and Lenox from Corinth Veterinary Clinic lost 11 pounds. (They're both dogs!) And TC didn’t even place. I’d die of embarrassment.

True TC was running the event so probably couldn’t enter, but she was supposed to lead by example and instead only lost three ounces? I, however, win every year by not needing to enter this type of contest in the first place. See, I actually care about my physique and general wellness. I visit my veterinarian often, eat well and get plenty of physical activity. Not that my life has been easy. Instead of being given diamonds on my collar like I requested, I was only given rhinestones. Rhinestones are so ‘80s. Oh and there was that whole thing about the Texas Veterinary Medical Association (TVMA) adopting me after my unfortunate accident. I was hit by a car, or something, but I was a kitten so I don't really remember that. So whateves. But you’d think that being so traumatized would result in diamonds. I’m just saying. Not that I don’t make the pink collar, bling and little jingly bell look good. You’ve got to work with what you’re given.