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National "Luna is Skinnier Than TC" Day

It's National Pet Obesity Awareness Day, so I just wanted to take this opportunity to remind everyone how much skinnier I am than TC. Even though TC was the one who received national attention on Animal Planet this year (on a video segment about fat cats, mind you), my body type is actually the physique that healthy felines should be aiming for. In fact, according to a pet-person weight conversion chart on the Association for Pet Obesity Prevention website, I would be a slim, healthy 108-pound female if I were a person (since I weigh about 8 pounds as a cat), while TC, who is 14.2 pounds, clearly has a person-weight of more than 200 pounds, which is almost double my weight either way. Therefore, I am naming it National "Luna is Skinnier Than TC" Day, in honor of me.

New Desk

Today I received a new (well, new to me) desk for all my dedicated blogging. So far, it's just as comfortable to lay on.

Getting in the Way of Work...

...is hard work. Do you think it’s easy to stretch across two sets of papers in an upside-down position? No. As you can see, it takes concentration.

It's September Already?

How long was I asleep in the sun?

On Top of Things

I'm really on top of my work inbox this week. See?

Take Your Cat to Work Day

I am not amused. Today there was a photo shoot at the TVMA office to promote Take Your Dog to Work Day, which is this Friday. What a ridiculous holiday. Where is Take Your Cat to Work Day? Though for me this holiday is every day, since I'm fortunate enough to be an office cat, I say, let's do it this Friday as well, so we can attack, when they least expect it.


There was even a party for one of the dog's birthdays. I had my party hat and everything.

Not that I wanted to party with a bunch of dogs. I just look excellent in hats. So I think we should also consider having a party this Friday, during Take Your Cat to Work Day. Then we can show those dogs just how cute we are, as well as better in every conceivable way. See you there.

Luna's New Bling

My last collar upset me. It didn’t have quite enough bling (especially since it was rhinestones instead of diamonds as I originally requested), so I struggled out of it and don’t remember where it ended up. But I don’t need a collar. I am a princess panther that can’t be tamed. I must run around the office unbridled to hunt small crickets and balled up pieces of paper. I must be allowed to run free and pounce without the jiggle bell that so unfairly announces my presence. I must be able to sneak up on my prey without warning, for I am a true creature of the night. But the staff insisted on imposing a collar on me once again, probably because of that incident with the copier. I pounced suddenly and made the accounting person drop all her papers, for I am truly terrifying! Mu ha ha ha! Yet, again, instead of giving me diamonds, I was given rhinestones, in the shape of little paws. Though I am still severely displeased with the lack of diamonds on my collar, I think little bling paws are cute and a step up. So this will do, for now.

How to Avoid a Bite From Luna

Next week, May 15–21, is National Dog Bite Prevention Week, apparently. Well, you might find this shocking, but recently I, Luna, was reprimanded by the HR Rep. for being a little nippy. She asked, “Luna, is this going to turn into an HR issue?” I said no, though I’m not sure she understood me in person, as most don’t, so I thought I’d write a blog to inform the staff of how to avoid a little love nip from Luna, if they wish to dispense of that honor:

• Feed me my fancy food as soon as you enter: The receptionist pays proper tribute by considerately serving me wet cat food every morning, but once she just wasn’t fast enough. I don’t remember what the hold up was, I just know that I was extremely hungry and the food wasn’t there. So I gave her a firm love nip to let her know I was displeased; it didn’t even break the skin! I found it to be completely appropriate, but the HR Rep. did not agree. This was the original reprimand.

• Don’t insist on typing when I am sitting on your desk, staring at you and in need of petting: The managing editor does this all time! Once last week she didn’t pay attention to me so I felt it was appropriate to let her know that I was displeased. That was strike two.

• Don’t try to move me from a stack of papers on your desk when I am clearly laying on them: Everyone in the office has been guilty of this at one time or another, but my comfort is much more important than your work! I haven’t yet resorted to biting in this situation, but consider this your warning.

• Don’t jump out and surprise me, as the graphic designer often does, or do anything else to startle or scare me: This one should be a given, but because of the behavior around here I have no choice but to list it.

• Don’t stand too long at the water fountain: For some reason when I stand next to those who are getting a drink of water, their legs look so tasty that I must give a gentle little nibble. This is really a sign of affection, but I suppose I could see how this could be misconstrued.

• And the number one way not to get a little love nip from Luna? Don’t displease me
in any way. (Or please me too much.)

Simple enough. Are we all very clear on this now?

Will It Ever End?

TC has yet another article in the Texas Veterinarian. I noticed while I was doing my morning crawl on tall boxes. One just happened to be open and flipped to page 17. I suspect TC was in the building, or sent someone in her stead (because what's the likelihood she actually got off her couch?) to plant that conveniently open issue, just to rub it in. There has also been an unsettling amount of canines in the building lately, which I suspect is also a plan of TC's, to slowly drive me mad. Though I am shocked at how low she's stooped. These are just a few of the dogs that the staff has exposed me to. And they've all felt entitled to taste my food. How much is one feline to endure?

I know. TC was on Animal Planet

It was over a week ago and I have yet to comment and everyone is curious why. It's because I have nothing nice to say. She looked fat. I guess that was the point since the Must Love Cats segment was about how to fight feline obesity but still.They didn't interview me about why I am so skinny, which is what the people really want. When the Animal Planet crew visited, I was locked in a spare room, like Cinderella, by the staff who claimed that I am territorial when other felines enter the building and they didn't want any incidents. My demonstrations of dominance are not incidents! It is my right to show my superiority. They locked me up because they knew, like Cinderella, that I would rightfully steal the lime light from my wicked step sister, TC. And not many people know this, but after the Animal Planet crew left the building, she actually attacked me because I am so much prettier than her. Of course, she tells the story a different way since the staff came and assumed, since I had escaped my spare room, that I had attacked her. But that is not what happened. She is obviously jealous of my beauty. So yes. I know TC was on Animal Planet. It would've been a segment just about Luna if my undeniable beauty hadn't been hidden away from their sight! So I don't blame you Animal Planet. You obviously didn't know better. I am available for interviews at my leisure.

Luna in the Sky with Diamonds

I’m ready to show-off my diamonds at the Diamonds and Denim Gala this Saturday. Surely the Texas Veterinary Medical Association will award me with diamonds this weekend during their Annual Conference for all my dedicated blogging!

Luna as Black Swan

I am your black swan, TC....

Much Ado About Small Versions of Things

This morning, there was a commotion downstairs that woke me from my morning nap. As I stealthily crawled downstairs like a panther on the prowl, I noticed almost everyone in the office crowded around the executive director’s doorway. I milled around the feet of the crowd undetected until I got a better view.

“Oh how cute!” a lady said.
“They are so tiny.”
“They’re pigmies!”
I walked into the office filled with distracted people thinking, “Surely there couldn’t be something cuter than Luna.” Then I saw them. They were…goats.
Just two very small goats. Like the mini-me version of a goat. Not remotely cuter than Luna.

“Oh look at their tiny feet!” One of them said.
“They’re so soft!”
“I just want to take them home!”

Seriously? I wasn’t impressed. But when I tried to express my opinion with a loud guttural sound, one of the ladies became concerned and shooed me out of the room!

The nerve! You imply something might be almost as cute as me but won’t even listen to my side of the argument?

They wouldn’t even allow me to do my job of providing therapeutic cuddling today. Instead, anytime anyone took a break, they just went down and petted the goats!

The managing editor and the executive director even spent a whole hour outside taking pictures of the goats in front of the building sign! They’ve never taken me to do that. Surely it’s because giving fans the ability to locate me may start a riot but still...they even made a video.

I took my afternoon nap early.

On Veterinary Legislative Day, Think of Luna

On Feb. 1, when you visit your legislators at the Texas Capitol to discuss veterinary issues, remember that I have a shocking lack of fine cuts with tuna sauce wet cat food.

I think this is something that both veterinarians and legislators will be very interested in since it directly affects animal health and welfare in general—specifically my health and welfare. My coat just isn’t as shiny without my fine cuts with tuna sauce. The Texas Veterinary Medical Association and Texas A&M's College of Veterinary Medicine have joined forces to create this day as part of World Veterinary Year, so I think the veterinary profession should take it seriously. I’m just saying.

I’ve also moved to pass a resolution that states that 2011 is actually World Luna Year instead. So we’ll see how that goes.