On Top of Things

I'm really on top of my work inbox this week. See?

Take Your Cat to Work Day

I am not amused. Today there was a photo shoot at the TVMA office to promote Take Your Dog to Work Day, which is this Friday. What a ridiculous holiday. Where is Take Your Cat to Work Day? Though for me this holiday is every day, since I'm fortunate enough to be an office cat, I say, let's do it this Friday as well, so we can attack, when they least expect it.


There was even a party for one of the dog's birthdays. I had my party hat and everything.

Not that I wanted to party with a bunch of dogs. I just look excellent in hats. So I think we should also consider having a party this Friday, during Take Your Cat to Work Day. Then we can show those dogs just how cute we are, as well as better in every conceivable way. See you there.

Luna's New Bling

My last collar upset me. It didn’t have quite enough bling (especially since it was rhinestones instead of diamonds as I originally requested), so I struggled out of it and don’t remember where it ended up. But I don’t need a collar. I am a princess panther that can’t be tamed. I must run around the office unbridled to hunt small crickets and balled up pieces of paper. I must be allowed to run free and pounce without the jiggle bell that so unfairly announces my presence. I must be able to sneak up on my prey without warning, for I am a true creature of the night. But the staff insisted on imposing a collar on me once again, probably because of that incident with the copier. I pounced suddenly and made the accounting person drop all her papers, for I am truly terrifying! Mu ha ha ha! Yet, again, instead of giving me diamonds, I was given rhinestones, in the shape of little paws. Though I am still severely displeased with the lack of diamonds on my collar, I think little bling paws are cute and a step up. So this will do, for now.

How to Avoid a Bite From Luna

Next week, May 15–21, is National Dog Bite Prevention Week, apparently. Well, you might find this shocking, but recently I, Luna, was reprimanded by the HR Rep. for being a little nippy. She asked, “Luna, is this going to turn into an HR issue?” I said no, though I’m not sure she understood me in person, as most don’t, so I thought I’d write a blog to inform the staff of how to avoid a little love nip from Luna, if they wish to dispense of that honor:

• Feed me my fancy food as soon as you enter: The receptionist pays proper tribute by considerately serving me wet cat food every morning, but once she just wasn’t fast enough. I don’t remember what the hold up was, I just know that I was extremely hungry and the food wasn’t there. So I gave her a firm love nip to let her know I was displeased; it didn’t even break the skin! I found it to be completely appropriate, but the HR Rep. did not agree. This was the original reprimand.

• Don’t insist on typing when I am sitting on your desk, staring at you and in need of petting: The managing editor does this all time! Once last week she didn’t pay attention to me so I felt it was appropriate to let her know that I was displeased. That was strike two.

• Don’t try to move me from a stack of papers on your desk when I am clearly laying on them: Everyone in the office has been guilty of this at one time or another, but my comfort is much more important than your work! I haven’t yet resorted to biting in this situation, but consider this your warning.

• Don’t jump out and surprise me, as the graphic designer often does, or do anything else to startle or scare me: This one should be a given, but because of the behavior around here I have no choice but to list it.

• Don’t stand too long at the water fountain: For some reason when I stand next to those who are getting a drink of water, their legs look so tasty that I must give a gentle little nibble. This is really a sign of affection, but I suppose I could see how this could be misconstrued.

• And the number one way not to get a little love nip from Luna? Don’t displease me
in any way. (Or please me too much.)

Simple enough. Are we all very clear on this now?

Will It Ever End?

TC has yet another article in the Texas Veterinarian. I noticed while I was doing my morning crawl on tall boxes. One just happened to be open and flipped to page 17. I suspect TC was in the building, or sent someone in her stead (because what's the likelihood she actually got off her couch?) to plant that conveniently open issue, just to rub it in. There has also been an unsettling amount of canines in the building lately, which I suspect is also a plan of TC's, to slowly drive me mad. Though I am shocked at how low she's stooped. These are just a few of the dogs that the staff has exposed me to. And they've all felt entitled to taste my food. How much is one feline to endure?

I know. TC was on Animal Planet

It was over a week ago and I have yet to comment and everyone is curious why. It's because I have nothing nice to say. She looked fat. I guess that was the point since the Must Love Cats segment was about how to fight feline obesity but still.They didn't interview me about why I am so skinny, which is what the people really want. When the Animal Planet crew visited, I was locked in a spare room, like Cinderella, by the staff who claimed that I am territorial when other felines enter the building and they didn't want any incidents. My demonstrations of dominance are not incidents! It is my right to show my superiority. They locked me up because they knew, like Cinderella, that I would rightfully steal the lime light from my wicked step sister, TC. And not many people know this, but after the Animal Planet crew left the building, she actually attacked me because I am so much prettier than her. Of course, she tells the story a different way since the staff came and assumed, since I had escaped my spare room, that I had attacked her. But that is not what happened. She is obviously jealous of my beauty. So yes. I know TC was on Animal Planet. It would've been a segment just about Luna if my undeniable beauty hadn't been hidden away from their sight! So I don't blame you Animal Planet. You obviously didn't know better. I am available for interviews at my leisure.

Luna in the Sky with Diamonds

I’m ready to show-off my diamonds at the Diamonds and Denim Gala this Saturday. Surely the Texas Veterinary Medical Association will award me with diamonds this weekend during their Annual Conference for all my dedicated blogging!